Sunday, January 4, 2009

Not a Good Way to Start the Year

This is not a good way to start the year... Hmp!

Sometimes, no matter how high our spirits are, someone will really try to make us feel bad. Worse, unworthy.

I marked today as my last day of "patiently" waiting to talk with this someone who's making me feel bad right now. Yes, despite the fact that he makes me feel bad, I felt it was important to talk with him face-to-face and set things straight. It would make me feel better to put things out in the open, discuss all issues, and end as good friends. Yes, as good friends.

This is one of my life's lessons that I give value to. When something is wrong, or someone has done me wrong, I would rather set things straight immediately. No procrastinations. The agony of prolonging it makes the situation worse actually.

But what if that person prefers to cool it off first and spends time on their own to figure things out? ARGGGHHHH!!! I hate that... I hate it so much...

And as much as I wanted to say "ok, i understand," I simply can't accept it. And based on past experiences, this will get worse. And already, I'm consuming all of my powers to keep myself cool and refrain from making things worse.

I hate what this does to me right now. It's making my supposedly positive outlook in 2009 start off in a bad light. Nakakainis.

I shouldn't be around people like this.

I really don't need this.

After almost a decade of being like this, I have finally started being okay. ARGGGHHHH.... I don't need this right now.

Looking forward to a busy schedule at work to keep my mind off this.

I really don't need this now.

And I really don't need him right now.