Friday, October 10, 2008

First Day Back at Work

Today is my first official day back at work. Although I've already been making timetables, researching references & fixing treatments these past few weeks, I did all these at the comfort of my own home. But since we already have an awarded project and today is the first scheduled meeting, I have no choice but to go to work.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I have a project. I've been hibernating for almost 6 weeks now and it's high time to go back working my ass off. But resting can also be addicting. It's like a drug that overpowered me. Not only was I able to watch TV at anytime, go online for hours, or sleep like there's no tomorrow, but finally, I had all the time in my hands to be able to do the things I've always planned on doing.

I had 2 trips during my hibernation -- one, with my Holy Week friends in Bantayan & Malapascua, Cebu; and two, with my son for our birthday celebrations in Hong Kong & Macau. What's so special about that? Two trips without mobile phones, that's why! Now, how often that does that happen? (Like... Never!)

I was also able to enroll myself in a photography workshop that I've been eyeing since July. Having so much time in my hands, I was able to concentrate more in doing my assignments. I also made use of the opportunity to scout the metro and practice shooting on my own taking pleasure in the discoveries I made which I, initially, thought could only be done by serious hobbyists and pros (but mine's nothing pro-like, still learning...).

So, despite the six-week hiatus from work, in a way, I was still busy -- blogging and cataloguing my files and photos which I can't seem to do for several months now (and I'm still not finished); fixing my papers and payments for PAG-IBIG, SSS, etc (the burden of a freelancer); going to a
doctor for check-ups (and we're still not done yet); spending sleepless nights to finish an assignment for my workshop... Marami pa. It's like I had to rush and finish everything up before my director gets back here in Manila, or else, everything will be pending again as to when he will have another vacation.

And today, all of a sudden, I'm in a state of panic. I felt everything that I planned on doing before this "vacation" started hasn't been fully accomplished yet. I'm going back to work, whether I like it or not.

I like it. Going back to work, that is. But can you blame me if I'm having an anxiety attack right now? Yup, I'm worried that previous plans I made may not push through again and I'll fall back to the same ditch of home-work-home routine. I'm worried that I won't get to see new found friends and re-establish my life back since my son has obviously started to establish his life without me. I'm worried that I will stack my camera inside a cabinet and forget I even have one (remember my Nikon F-301?).

SIGH...

Isipin ko na lang... If I don't work, I can't travel. If I don't work, I can't buy the flash and the lens that I like. If I don't work, I can't send my son to school.

SIGH...

Eto na, nagbibihis na po... Getting ready to go to work.

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